What’s with our self-esteem these days? It keeps drowning!
To face life with low self-esteem is to be at a severe advantage.
No more worries. Today, we’re going to learn 7 ways to boost our self-esteem.
Let’s dig in:
record your story
the word self-esteem gets used in a lot of different contexts.
it’s a stand-in for everything from confidence to self-worth.
but the real definition of self-esteem is actually pretty simple.
self-esteem is how you feel about yourself that’s it.
it’s all the positive and negative feelings that affect your vision of who you are and what you can do.
but it isn’t always easy to figure out who you are.
the majority of people feel confused about their identity on a regular basis
and that confusion just breeds more negativity, more feelings of inadequacy.
when you don’t know how you feel about yourself you naturally lean toward self-criticism.
because in your head someone who values themselves would know the reason why.
but the truth is you have hundreds if not thousands of reasons to appreciate yourself, to feel good about who you are.
but like most people, you take that positivity for granted..
you let it slip into the back of your mind or fade away from your personality.
instead you focus on the one or two negative feelings that keep swirling around in your brain.
so what can you do to bring that positivity back to the surface?
what’s the best way to reflect on all the reasons why you deserve your own respect?
recording your life story is a fun and therapeutic strategy that countless people have used.
not only does it help you remember what you love about yourself
but telling your story also motivates you to maintain that positivity in the future.
but it’s not just about reflection, the fact that you’re writing down your story plays an important role.
because when you write something down you have to be clear
you have to be concrete, you’re forcing yourself to be specific about who you are, so if you’re feeling confused.
telling your story can give you the clarity that you’re looking for.
a point of pride
instead of looking back in time, you can also boost your self-esteem by setting goals for the future.
okay just imagine you’re an aspiring author.
but you’ve never actually written a book before, you’ve written plenty of short stories.
but you’ve always been too scared to try something bigger.
maybe you’re worried you’re going to fail or you’re just feeling overwhelmed
and you don’t have enough faith in yourself to take on the challenge.
how can you build the self-esteem you need to accomplish your dreams.
try setting something called a point of pride.
a point of pride is one specific goal that you accomplish in order to prove something to yourself.
going back to our previous example your point of pride might be to write one chapter.
because if you can write one chapter that means you can write another.
and another until you’ve finished your entire book.
by creating and achieving your point of pride you’re giving yourself a consistent source of motivation.
and more importantly a source of self-esteem.
by taking this small step, you’ll discover genuine confidence in yourself.
your ultimate goals will finally feel like something you can realistically accomplish.
all you have to do is pick one manageable but challenging point of Pride and concentrate all your attention on that single goal.
if you can do that, your self-esteem will start to skyrocket.
you can also boost your self-esteem by changing basic things like the way you speak.
for example, you might be using self-critical language, you undercut your own success..
you belittle your own accomplishments and you overrate the value of the people around you.
the problem is you probably don’t even realize that you’re doing it,it’s become almost automatic for you.
so how do you change something that you don’t even think about?
try studying the way you speak, every time you undermine your own achievements go and write it down.
that way, you can focus your attention on your harmful language and gradually change it for the better.
you may not notice a difference at first but over time this simple strategy will have a huge impact on your self-esteem.
practice self compassion
one of the hardest things about building self-esteem is learning how to forgive your own mistakes.
you want to be perfect, you want to be respected and successful.
so whenever that doesn’t happen you either pretend that nothing happened or you become your own worst enemy.
you criticize yourself and you hold a grudge, but both of these approaches have the same fundamental problem.
they’re focused on preserving the good.
you’re trying to maintain this fragile image of yourself.
you expect to be that perfect successful person so you react negatively every time that doesn’t happen.
you either ignore your mistakes or you tear yourself down and slowly but surely you chip away at your self-esteem.
so what should you do instead?
the real secret behind your self-esteem has nothing to do with preserving the good, it’s about forgiving the bad.
you’ll spend the rest of your life making mistakes, we all do.
there’s just no way around it.
so before you can believe in yourself, you have to learn to live with those failures.
little by little you can boost your self-esteem by actively forgiving yourself.
each time you say something stupid or make a careless error..
just take a minute to acknowledge what you did wrong and then no matter what, cut yourself some slack.
revisit your past
have you always struggled with low self-esteem?
or can you remember a time in your life where self-esteem was the last thing on your mind?
many people go through highs and lows throughout their life.
they start accomplishing their goals in developing healthy habits..
so they feel positive and confident until some kind of failure knocks them down a peg.
If you’re stuck in one of those valleys youcan use this easy trick to climb your way back out..
think back to the happiest time in your life, when were you the most motivated,
when did you love yourself the most?.
it really doesn’t matter if it was last week last year or even decades ago.
reflect on that point in your life, and ask yourself this important question:
how did you climb to the top of that mountain?
what about that period of your life stands out the most?
maybe you were excelling at work, or you might have had an amazing group of friends.
oftentimes by reflecting on our past we learn new things about what makes us happy.
many people like to say their career-oriented, they focus all their time and energy on work.
but their job consistently makes them feel inadequate or insecure.
so they think back to their happiest moments, and they realize something that changes their life.
they feel the best about themselves when they’re helping others, not when they’re concentrating on their career.
my point here is if you’re struggling with self-esteem..
revisiting your past is a simple and rewarding way to turn your mind around.
and you might just discover something new about yourself in the process.
go your own way
people want to fit in.
whether you’re 15 years old or 50, you might think about your social standing more than you’d like to admit.
it crosses your mind when you’re getting dressed in the morning..
when you’re walking through the grocery store or when you’re sitting down at your desk.
but the more you think about your social standing the harder it is to build self-esteem.
a huge study that analyzed over a thousand participants found that people who spend time trying to fit in, have lower self-esteem on average.
it doesn’t matter if you’re popular, unpopular, or somewhere in the middle.
because it’s not about whether you fit in.
the best thing you can do for your self-esteem is to stop caring altogether.
that’s right, do at least one thing every day that separates you from the rest of the herd.
it could be a change in your style or some obscure new hobby.
it really doesn’t matter as long as you’re carving your own path.
when you’re focused on making yourself happy, you’ll discover all kinds of new reasons to cherish your individuality.
if I ask you, what things were the most important to you? what would you say?
for most people, it’s not that hard of a question. it only takes a few seconds to prove your values to me.
but how long has it been since you’ve proved your values to yourself ?
even though you know what your values are they might have faded into the background
maybe they’ve gotten lost in your usual habits and routines. you might forget to make time for your family, or you may have lost touch with your passions.
by reclaiming your values you can remind yourself who you are.
you can remember what makes your life worthwhile because that’s ultimately where most of your self-esteem comes from.
when you know yourself and the kind of person that you are, you can learn to like yourself.
so set aside some time every week or every day if you can to reclaim your values..
make some kind of conscious decision that proves who you are.
you might put away work to spend quality time with your family or skip a night out to get back in touch with your creative side.
each time you make these choices, not only do your values get stronger you also feel proud to call them your own.
It takes time to make the list above into habits. Be patient and enjoy the process.
Don’t forget to share with us any other helpful techniques in the comment below.